Struggles to find my self and where I fit

It started with me being up till four am last night. With my series of delusions I thought I heard a noise in the closet and of course I panicked until I realized it was the people next door. If there ever was a person who could make a mountain out of a mole hill (or better yet something out of nothing and I do mean NOTHING) it would be me. For some reason I was born with the gene to not accept tranquility, I am uneasy when there is little drama in my life maybe due to the fact that I spent the first twenty years of my life in constant upheaval and now that things have settled down I just simply don't know what to make of the situation, anyways that's really not the point. I didn't get much sleep last night but even so I woke up feeling refreshed and I got up and got dressed and planned to go get my drivers license updated. So I'm puttering around my apartment and then suddenly it became one of those days. I spilled tea on my white shirt, my computer keeps shutting down, and I've realized that it's now one o'clock and I'm still sitting here. So much for being productive. I've been doing tons of writing lately to further myself as a writer but I'm faced with the never ending struggle of what to write, when to write how to write and so forth and so on. I feel like a walking contradiction a good portion of the time and struggle with issues of what do I share and when do I share and what makes good writing good. Do I have the talent or am I just another rambling blogger. I kept this blog up as sort of my sounding board so maybe I can ramble here, I don't know. I don't know what makes a writer good or not. I don't know what makes something worthwhile, I just know that this is what I've been doing since I was old enough to formulate sentences and I'm not quitting now. Enough of my personal ranting, I've got to get back to my day......