tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69396064731838541172011-04-21T21:53:12.198-05:00Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.comBlogger261100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-45991224972588194372007-08-29T01:13:00.001-05:002007-08-29T01:16:21.863-05:00

Ok, I'm packing up and moving again, this is the last time I promise. Come visit me at the new home of Blush (reverting back to the old name) I've got my stuff and I'm heading out, hope to see you there!!!

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-74172697119763493142007-08-24T18:19:00.000-05:002007-08-24T18:24:30.425-05:00

Well, the great Chicago Storm as I'm now calling it ripped through here la st night and once again I've gone unaffected. Besides the stoplights that were out that I was forced to drive through on the way to Target my life went on as usual and here I am on the eve of my birthday feeling like a princess because I've shopped for birthday presents to me all week. I got my brand new Betsey Johnson

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-52260658899671807002007-08-20T20:18:00.000-05:002007-08-20T20:23:51.172-05:00

Well, here we are five days before my birthday and I feel as if I am doing some sort of countdown...life is rough again, its as if I'm kayaking and I keep hitting rocks. I can't seem to stay in high enough water to keep the kayak moving smoothly and I keep banking and getting stuck (much like when I actually kayaked)I'm tired of being lied to, I'm tired of being ignored, I'm tired of being used.

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-22385594913280504312007-08-16T13:42:00.000-05:002007-08-16T13:53:13.522-05:00

It started with me being up till four am last night. With my series of delusions I thought I heard a noise in the closet and of course I panicked until I realized it was the people next door. If there ever was a person who could make a mountain out of a mole hill (or better yet something out of nothing and I do mean NOTHING) it would be me. For some reason I was born with the gene to not accept

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-553860781674200612007-08-15T13:58:00.000-05:002007-08-15T14:07:49.868-05:00

I make a lot of split second decisions but I think I have really good intuition. I seem to know things before other people, I seem to know when something is about to happen, hey I even know the phone is going to ring before it does and I usually know who is on the other end (I'm not boasting psychic abilities here). I just seem to have a knack for knowing what other people don't. I'll often wake

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-52361573217171661152007-08-12T14:09:00.001-05:002007-08-12T14:19:12.173-05:00

I've had a bit of a feeling of regression lately and it hasn't been entirely a bad thing. I've been doing an awful lot of driving and I found some very old CDs, so while driving to a family party yesterday I decided it would be appropriate to listen to them and relive my "youth". I've discovered some memories I really do not want back, even if they are five years old. It also feels as if some

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-19554878077110895802007-08-10T11:47:00.000-05:002007-08-10T11:48:58.346-05:00

Between the agonizing late night phone calls, the quite small, but potent amount of alcohol I drank last night and my McDonald’s breakfast eaten while watching the Greg Behrendt show this morning I’ve gained some new perspective on relationships. It seems as if the more you cling and the tighter you hold the more you lose or maybe that was the alcohol talking or maybe, just maybe, there is truth

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-29016738083170199012007-08-08T15:42:00.000-05:002007-08-08T15:44:36.895-05:00

Every year around this time I start to get nostalgic. I’m really not sure if it’s because summer is winding down or if its because my birthday is creeping up one me, or maybe it’s just the sweltering heat accompanied by the dozens of thunderstorms we seem to be getting here in the Midwest. Whatever it is I’ve been reflecting back on the past year and everything that has happened over the course

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-50902806206695406202007-08-06T14:57:00.000-05:002007-08-06T14:59:13.272-05:00

I just wanted to say thank you to anyone who has commented in the last week or so to any of my posts. The response has been appreciated as I have been going through an awkward time and your words were very well received, thanks again.

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-82914110430988026942007-08-06T14:49:00.000-05:002007-08-06T14:51:12.321-05:00

During my year at a formal college I took a course that was technically about marketing but we covered a lot of ground in that class. There was a big emphasis on discovering ourselves and maintaining our happiness as well as working on our personal growth. I remember one day the instructor telling us how a pearl is formed. Now to some people this was a rather trivial fact but I found it to be

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-55812258275442998762007-08-03T20:01:00.001-05:002007-08-03T20:08:14.421-05:00

Alright, in all fairness to myself I've been through a lot and in all fairness to my writing I try to keep it as objective as possible but I think there comes a defining point with everything. Writing is an art and with all arts there is a passion and there is a soul and there is a muse dare I say. Even when that muse is formed out of pain it would be wrong not to let it speakso speak it did,

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-66111977254487287372007-07-31T23:24:00.001-05:002007-07-31T23:27:09.387-05:00

I feel as if I am running out of steam here so here goes nothing I’m going to give it my all for tonight and hopefully it’s good enough. Once again if there is anybody who has been following my story you can well figure that the final, final, final blow has hit. This relationship is dead. Gone, over, finished and complete. The details aren’t even clear and I cannot get an answer as to what has

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-83738704591226250372007-07-30T22:32:00.000-05:002007-07-30T22:34:05.744-05:00

Monday July, 30th what was supposed to be a day of beginnings has become a day of endings. I’m here, I’m all unpacked and I’m settled into my new place. For any of you who have been reading any of my blogs since the beginning today was supposed to be the day when “everything” started. The big day, the day I started school and my life “began” again. Well I don’t know who I was kidding by thinking

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-90976721558381594742007-07-23T17:54:00.000-05:002007-07-23T17:55:32.219-05:00

I have a little "problem", well the older I get the more it seems to have turned into a big "problem". It seems that I was born without motivational skills, or ambition. I may have gotten a little bit of talent because I can turn a bookcase into a living reptarium like nobody else. Or what about my ability to take the ordinary and turn it into the extraordinary. I've got wine glasses scattered

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-68824225246873630862007-07-23T09:10:00.000-05:002007-07-23T09:16:37.099-05:00

I am in the process of writing more things I just wanted to write something to keep up with the blog. I am in the process of moving out of one apartment and into another so I don't have lots of time to be writing on here but I thought I would keep up while I still have a phone line. Moving is much harder work than I remember! I have a lot more things than I thought I had and this has become an

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-9454848922033818252007-07-22T12:37:00.000-05:002007-07-22T12:41:54.812-05:00

Popping in for a quick appearance. Just to take care of a few business related things here 1)Thank you to whoever fixed the problem with my page elements they are now displaying again and all is back in working order. 2)Content may be appearing slowly in the next few days as I am in the process of moving 3) There may not be any content for a few days starting on either Tuesday or Wednesday as I

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-55735013266089992362007-07-19T11:38:00.000-05:002007-07-19T11:50:19.637-05:00

In the process of packing up all my stuff I've come across many things, some of whihc is my old poetry. This poem I am about to share was written quite a long time ago, butI like it and I feel like sharing so here it is, please click on the read more tab...Memo To An ExYou left me at the altarOr a least it seemed that wayThere I was tear soakedCussing out the guestsAs they offered their

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-63361865154517417342007-07-18T19:23:00.000-05:002007-07-18T19:25:54.374-05:00

Everyone has heard the phrase "she was the one that got away" or maybe it was "he was the one who got away," depending on who you're talking to. Or maybe you are the one saying it, or maybe you will be saying it. This phrase has gotten a lot of usage over the years and for good reason. People slip in and out of lives continuously as we go along our journey. Some we forget, some we want to forget

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-85944128744912987312007-07-17T13:24:00.000-05:002007-07-17T17:21:59.275-05:00

Relationships, those without them want them. Those with them gripe about them. Those who have lost them mourn. We struggle to save them, end them, find them and repair them. Relationships, in the example I am making today, romantic ones, are one of the trickiest things you will experience in life. They will bring you the most joy and the most pain. You can go from elated to heartbroken and then

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-10576895085332685122007-07-17T11:38:00.000-05:002007-07-17T11:43:03.160-05:00

I've decided to add some some of my poetry so here it is. Inevitable Conclusion To Opening Your HeartI held onFor so longTo the thin little threadcalled hopemy fingers grasped itit an awkward fashionand bent until they almost brokein fact they are still sorefrom the strain of disillusionmy fingers will healfaster than my heartwhich aches witha seemingly unending achethe desperation that I feltto

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-79786741602834341162007-07-16T12:21:00.000-05:002007-07-17T11:43:22.920-05:00

I'm not sure why I picked this image and I'm not sure why I'm writing cause I don't want to be the whiny type that wallows over something I can only equate to crying over spilled milk so I'm going for a different approach here. I have been relying on quotes and advice lately. So I so very nicely threw a quote in as the title of this I as I believe many people seem to keep themselves wrapped up

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-48663489438604379002007-07-15T23:57:00.000-05:002007-07-17T11:43:42.051-05:00

I'm alone, yeah I'm all alone. It seems I got what I want and now I'm stuck and I'm miserable. I came across a quote I haven't used in a long time the other day "There are two tragedies in life one is getting what you want and the other is not getting it". Oscar Wilde said that and boy can I feel it right now, somehow I thought that when I pushed this thing to the very end I'd be happier. But

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-56721935403293722642007-07-13T20:18:00.000-05:002007-07-17T11:44:01.377-05:00

I took a bit of a hiatus, unfortunately I had to. I made a split decision to move out of my apartment and with my lease running out next month I had to quickly go on a hunt for a new place to live. Luckily I seem to have solved that problem and now I have the daunting task of packing in front of me. I feel very alone these days I feel as if everyone in the world has moved on and left me standing

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-30540024544345534092007-07-06T19:18:00.000-05:002007-07-17T11:44:18.699-05:00

And I want to scream it over and over and over again because I just don't, it might as well be my mantra. I don't get it, simply put I don't get it. Maybe I just don't have the function in me that knows when to stop, to quit while I'm ahead. To pick up the damn phone when people call me, to stop pushing people away to break down the front that I worked so hard to build up from all the years of

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-27782007855597086562007-07-05T20:11:00.000-05:002007-07-17T11:44:36.719-05:00

Ok, so this pic was entitled "Mafia Princess" hence the Goodfellas poster, even though the photographer cut off the title, haha nice one Becky! I visited her last week in Fargo, ND which led to an interesting week...well an interesting week of a drunken haze. All we did was bar crawl and shop and eat chinese food and breadsticks from pizza hut. Personally my favorite move was ordering the

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939606473183854117.post-70186332474730375862007-07-05T18:28:00.000-05:002007-07-17T11:44:50.501-05:00

Oh yeah, I'm really not good at picking up where I left off I much rather like to wipe the slate clean and start over, can we start again please? I think I tried too hard, or too much, or maybe something just overwhelmed me and then I just shut down completely. So now I'm just going to be my quirky, little twenty three, almost twenty four year old self and try to make it through this and realize

Browneyedgurlynoreply@blogger.com0